My daughter is 13 and a good Christian young lady (no boy friends, home schooled, studies the bible without me telling her to, etc). Her father tends to blurt out curse words but I'm trying to instill in her that they are not appropriate. One 'friend' (not someone I would choose as a friend for her) uses curse words all the time. I warned this girl that any email that comes in my daughter's inbox that contains bad words are deleted. I haven't seen any since I told her this. Now its comments on her facebook that show up on my daughter's wall. I'm afraid if I push the issue it will make her want to stay friends with this girl more. My daughter's using bad words have gotten better but if she continues this association, it will continue. Any advise on how to handle this issue?
Do you conduct a regular Bible study *with* your daughter, using the "Young People Ask" series of articles, in the "Awake!" magazine? There are *far* more subjects covered in the articles, than are in the "YPA" books (yet, anyway). Notice these:
"Awake!" 89 8/22 Young People Ask:
"Whatâ ™s Wrong With Cursing Once in a While?"
"Awake!" 89 9/8 Young People Ask:
How Can I Resist the Urge to Curse?
This one is also excellent to consider with her:
"Awake!" 92 12/8 The Bible's Viewpoint:
"Why Profanity Is Not for Christians"
"Language once identified with hopeless derelicts has become routine. Swearing on the part of women and even of children is now 'acceptable'.â ť (from: "Awake!" 83 2/1 "The Age of Obscenity")
PS: If you don't have access to the Watchtower Publications CD, I suggest asking someone in the congregation you attend, to print out the articles listed above, for you to be able to review them --along with the Scriptures-- with your daughter. (I just noticed that you say that you are "learning with your children".)
ALSO: You yourself may want to consider:
How Can You Protect Your Children?
http://watchtower.org/e/19980715/article...
The Challenge of Child Training Today
- Can the Bible Help You Train Your Children? http://watchtower.org/e/20040615/article...
Parents--Be a Fine Example for Your Children
http://watchtower.org/e/20060401/article...
After re-reading parts of these, I could 'see' you & your daughter inviting her friend to do things with *both* of you (i.e., shop, play board games, perhaps discussing chapters in the "YPA" bk/articles). You might say: "Instead of just telling you how I feel about using curse words (or, some other subject), I would like to share with you the reasons behind my feelings. May I?" IF your daughter doesn't want to stick around to hear it, let her go. Give your attention to her friend, if she's interested. But, instead of allowing them to spend time alone together, plan on spending time with your daughter yourself, & --if it seems reasonable*-- ask her friend along. *(It's not reasonable as long as her friend is disrespectful of you &/or your Bible-based feelings . . .
If you do that, I wouldn't be surprized if her friend becomes jealous of your daughter, due to the attention you show her! (I would have!) But, she may mock you, instead of admitting it.
No F*&king Swearing, Please - Momlogic::
I'm not a prude, but now that I have young children, curse words sound not in front of kids and teens, just in front people their age(eg. your 18,
http://www.momlogic.com/2008/09/no_fking_swearing_please.phpHOME |
Anyway, a parent can't change their child. The child must want to change. However, the parent can often find ways which can lead to the child desiring to change themself.
I wouldn't try to push her to hard about the friend, at all. That will probably start a rift between the two of you and then she will for sure listen and follow her friend more. Focus solely on the issue. Remember though to not push the issue at all if she is not cursing herself or it does not progress. If that happens then start with a reminder, second time crack down. And from a little bit of a side point, I wouldn't worry so much if your daughter uses a cuss word every now and again (provided it's not the Lord's name). It's more important that she is a good student, is happy, and not doing anything stupid like drugs or sex. You can also look at it this way, words are just an expression of feelings. So generally they are used in fustration or anger. It's her way of expressing it. Maybe if it helps you and her make some sort of compromise if you must. Maybe something like that she can only cuss as much as her father. Then they both can work on not cussing. Plus it really doesn't help that he does it, she witnesses it, he gets away with it, she gets scorned. What you can also do is maybe have her cheat on cuss words. Allow her to say shiznit instead of s^*t or something wacky like fudgepops. Anyways, best of luck. Amazon.com: Customer Discussions: Parents of pre-teens..,this is a ::
They used about 5 curses. s, b, a, words. Your kids hear all those words put together in 1 .. Parents of pre-teens.., this is a TEEN rated game. Exactly!
http://www.amazon.com/Parents-pre-teens-TEEN-rated-game/forum/Fx2L1P5J5KEF9GY/Tx3KWC81L7WBEUS/1?_encoding=UTF8&asin=B000UW21A0HOME |
A curse is the work of an unthinking man - www.smh.com.au::
Growth continues until it reaches about 30 words at pre-adolescence. Then, during the teens, cursing peaks, especially in boys.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/11/21/1069027319246.html?from=storyrhsHOME |
have you considered blinding your daughter and deafening her?
otherwise i suppose leave it to her, if you have installed good morals in her then it wont matter long term really will it?
I used to cuss all the time. My family taught me that this was wrong, usually by explaining. I was usually grounded after a talk over WHY cussing was wrong--I was never punished without an explanation. Over time, I finally agreed with my parents. This is probably one of the hardest things for you as a parent to do because it's hard for you to hear these words come out of your daughter's mouth. Just try to show her how and why cussing is wrong. Also, you may want to have a discussion with your husband about cursing around your daughter. As for your daughter's friend, you may want to reduce the amount of time they spend together. I'm not sure that ending their friendship will help your daughter any; teenagers tend to rebel when they feel their life is under "too much control", because they don't often understand the benefits of their parents' actions.
It may be hard to cut these words out of her vocabulary. Just like any other word in the English language, curse words have the ability to slip out without even thinking. Try to be patient with her as she breaks the habit.
woww... you can never try to stop your child form those kinds of things. the more you try to protect the more they resist. that is it's good that you have them into religion and it will be important in here life but you cant stop her from growing up.
I would take a look at your own agenda about life itself. Mean Mom. It ain't that bad, you just make it that way.
The more you try to stop her from something the more it will make her want to do it.
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Curse words and teenagers?